Thursday, May 18, 2006
We have not quite celebrated living in Shanghai for one year. But one thing I learned about living in China is not to expect anything to last.
Our apartment is already showing signs of deterioration. We are the first tenants to live in this unit so it is a spanking, brand new place! During this past winter, we heard loud popping noises that sounded like the ceiling was collapsing while we sat in our livingroom. I jumped out of my seat and ducked for cover only to feel a bit foolish afterwards. Later, we discovered large cracks in our ceiling. Why? Because we used the heater, the air dried out the wood,and the wood cracked; thus, making these startlingly loud and scary, popping sounds. Several employees of the apartment complex assured me that the ceiling will not fall down on us but that's another thing I learned about China - don't believe anything anyone tells you until you can double-check, I mean triple-check, the facts. Aside from the peeling paint, cabinet handles falling off, our humble abode, nicknamed Casa Chow, has a revolving door of ayis or housekeepers (or maids, if you are so inclined to call yours).
Our first ayi is this petite (and I mean petite because she's even shorter than me!), cute woman who is in her early forties. I will call her Helen. Like most ayis in Shanghai, Helen is from Anhui Province. I learned that she and I had at least one thing in common...we were both illiterate in Chinese. At the time, I couldn't read nor write well, so it wasn't a big issue. Plus, I was home when she came over to clean so I could verbally communicate (ok so I mostly pantomimed and used a lot of body language but I got my point across) with her. The only time it was a bit comical was when we both went grocery shopping and neither one of us could read the labels! Being illiterate, I really started to appreciate seeing pictures on product labels. And I usually gravitated towards products with English descriptions, however poorly written.
After two months under our employment, Helen found out that her father was seriously ill. He had some kind of stomach cancer and she had to leave us to return to Anhui to take care of her parents. She cried when she left me because we had both become a bit attached to each other. She made me cry because she said she has never met anyone who was as good to her as I was. Yes, I am guilty of giving my ayi little presents just about every week. I gave her some of my clothes. I bought goodies for her kids and gave her food. I gave her parents money. These things were just small acts of kindness that I felt she would appreciate and she did.
After Helen left, I was in despair. I needed to find another ayi and quickly! The clothes needed ironing. I can picture my husband going to work in wrinkled shirts and pants and people criticizing my tai tai skills with their eyes. Dust was beginning to collect in corners and have parties on my floor! What's a girl to do??? A friend recommended her ayi and even negotiated the deal with respect to monthly salary and how many days per week. Thus came the beginning of our experience with our second ayi who I will call Belinda.
Belinda is a bit more sophisticated than Helen. I thought all Anhui ayi yelled when they talked. But Belinda doesn't yell when she talks. She is very normal and quite smart for an ayi. She could read and write Chinese. And she could put me in my place which, although surprising at first, I have to say I respected her comments. Belinda also taught me a bit of Chinese. She'd leave me notes that, in itself, was like a homework assignment because I would have to whip out my electronic dictionary to decipher what she wrote.
I was just as nice with Belinda as I was with Helen but I didn't give her presents every week. I would sometime treat her to a few hours at the salon for a haircut. I bought her a winter coat that she couldn't afford. And sometimes I would take her to lunch and we would try Japanese noodles or pizzas. I felt sympathetic towards her because her income alone supports four people: husband, daughter, husband's dad, herself. She worked hard and was quite honest. But still it took me six months before I gave her a key to my apartment.
All seemed to be going well until we got back from May holiday and Belinda told me that her husband was ill and that she was in Anhui. She also texted me and suggested that I find another ayi. Feeling that there could be some misunderstanding, I called and she again said I should find another ayi. I read that to imply that she wasn't interested in coming back to work with me. I could never tell if a local said something to me that he/she really meant what they said or were they trying to get out of a situation and couldn't be honest with me about it. I was a little disappointed since we had no major issues before May holiday...or if we did, I wasn't aware of any.
So I called Helen on the off chance that she might be available. She was so thrilled to get my call that she came over right away. And now we are back to our first ayi!
It's a funny thing to witness how territorial the ayis are with their clients. Helen wanted to know what will happen to her when Belinda came back from Anhui. I couldn't say for sure so I told her not to worry. Not quite a week after Helen began working with us again, Belinda called me to say she was back in Shanghai and wanted her job back. Now I was really stuck between a rock and a hard place! Do I send Helen away? Do I tell Belinda that she no longer has a job with me? I was in the unfortunate position to make someone unhappy. So what should I do?
I pictured a pretty simple way to resolve this issue. I would let the ayis decide! I would make my two ayis don boxing gloves and mouth gears and have them duke it out with each other in a boxing ring. I imagined that Helen, though smaller, could attack Belinda below the belt. Belinda may be bigger in size but she wasn't as nimble. I wondered who would win. And could I charge and make money? Who would want to see two ayis fight it out for a client?
In the end, I came out of my reverie and realized I needed to make a decision sans the boxing ring.
I decided to let Helen stay and see how things work out with her and told Belinda to find another client. I think it's the only fair thing to do. If Belinda had said to me that she will definitely come back to Shanghai and that I should look for temporary help until she gets back, it may have been a different decision. But she clearly stated that I should find another ayi and she didn't know when she would come back. I know she wasn't quite happy to hear that I found another ayi so soon but after spending three hours ironing 30 items of clothing on a Sunday afternoon, I couldn't hack housework anymore. How did I survive before I came to Shanghai???
I am sure Belinda will be back under our employment at some point in the future...thus, our home has a revolving door that (figuratively) rotates with ayis coming and going.
What would you do if you were me? Which ayi would you chose? Could you concoct an interesting and creative way to solve this dilemma?
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
When I first came to Shanghai in 2001 on a visit with my MBA classmates, I, like all other foreigners who came to Shanghai, made the inevitable pit stop at the "fake market" called Xiang(1)Yang(2)Shi(4)Chang(3) or XY for short.
Since moving here, I visited XY about once a month when I accompany a visitor or friend to this chaotic outdoor bazaar. Asked a local Chinese if he/she has ever been and the general response is a shake of the head follow by a complaint that it's a place for the "laowai" to shop since the prices are too inflated and the quality of the goods is a bit questionable. True, it's not necessarily the place to get "wu(4)mei(3)jia(4)lian(2)" goods (excellent quality at low prices), but it has its merits.
For one thing, I get my entertainment value out of the funny English I hear from the vendors trying to score a potential customers. I might add that I am quite impressed with the progression of English at XY. Just a few years before this, I hardly heard any complete English sentences from the salespeople. Negotiations were done on the ubiquitous calculators and a lot of body language. Now I hear more than just the "watch" or "bags" remarks.
Once, while browsing in a purse shop, I overheard a saleswoman telling a foreign male customer, "You too handsome! You pay more!" Hearing that I had to chuckle. This is what it means to pay the price of being good-looking!
Another time, a man was shaking his head in disagreement with the salesperson's asking price and was walking away. The saleswoman, fearing he was serious, yelled after him, "You too strong for me! Ok, come back! I give you (his asking price)!"
Recently I went to XY with Kathy, a friend, and we were approached by a woman with a photo album of purses and watches. She was trying to get us to go to her shop by enticing Kathy with this comment: "It's cheap for you but for me I cry." The last part of the sentence was said with an Italian accent. We both laughed whenever we recount the story.
Another merit of XY is that I get to practice my Chinese on the vendors. At one stall, a man was trying to convince me that the string of fake pearls was real. I laughed and bantered back and forth with him about his claim. Then he said to me, "Bie kai wan xiao, wo zuo sheng yi" meaning "Don't joke around, I am doing business." As if! He was the one cracking the jokes since the pearls were clearly fake! We ended up buying the pearls for an 80's theme party at 15% of the asking price.
Yet still another added value at XY is that I get to practice my bargaining skills. Someone once taught me a simple way to tell if I got a fair price. For example, if the vendor gets fuming mad while he takes payment from me and he's claiming that I'm ripping him off, then I got a price that is as close as possible to its true cost, meaning the vendor didn't make much profit. But if after I paid and the vendor hands me a business card and tells me to bring my friends next time, then I know I was ripped off.
If you can handle the crowd, the pushing and shoving, the sales pitch from vendors, you should venture over to XY market before it is officially closed at the end of June. For all the crazy things that go on in there, it can be an entertaining place. I guess after it closes, I'll have to find another spot to hear funny English and practice my bargaining skills in Chinese!
Monday, April 24, 2006
In my humble opinion, Shanghai, for the most part, is a safe city. Safe in that I could walk home at night and not fear that someone will rob or assault me.
But in some ways, life in Shanghai is a bit precarious. Everyone is in such a rush to get somewhere that they forget to act with caution or have common courtesy for other people.
Just about everyday that I leave my apartment and venture out, I am likely to be hit by a bus, car, moped, bicycle and even people. In the U.S., pedestrians have the right of way. If you are in a car or moped and you don't slow down to yield for a pedestrian crossing the street, you can be fined by the highway police. The logic is that a pedestrian is smaller and more vulnerable than a car. So the car should yield. So as soon as the pedestrian steps onto the crosswalk, all cars must stop.
But this is not the case in Shanghai. I lost count as to how many times I see accidents and near accidents. The worst is seeing big buses coming down on a group of pedestrians who are crossing the street. The drivers don't slow down at all! What if one of the pedestrians who is a child or an elderly citizen falls? The bus won't have enough time to stop and could run over the child or elderly citizen.
I could write a whole book on drivers in China but that is not the point of this blog entry.
The point I want to make is that it doesn't take that much effort to show a little caution and courtesy for others.
This is not only when you are in your car, on your moped or bicycle, it applies to when you are walking around. There is no reason to push and shove people to get on the escalator, elevator, bus, etc. The one second that you take to let someone go ahead of you will not kill you. It may save someone, including yourself, from getting hurt.
Whenever I complain about the lack of concern for safety or courtesy to local Chinese people, their response is always, "China has too many people." But that's
not an acceptable excuse. New York City has a lot of people. Tokyo has a lot of people. Many other cities around the world have lots of people. I don't get pushed and shoved there.
So, please, slow down and show some courtesy and concern for people around you. It could mean the difference between life and death.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Wherever we live, my husband and I love taking side trips to the surrounding areas so we could explore the neighborhoods beyond our
abode. This Saturday, after our house guests from the U.S. left for Xian, we decided to check out ZhuJiaJiao, an old water town just an hour outside of Shanghai.
We went to the Shanghai Stadium to buy tickets (15 RMB/one-way) for the bus leaving at 11:10 A.M. but there were no more seats available. So instead of waiting for the 12:00 P.M. bus, we
negotiated with a cab driver to take us to ZhuJiaJiao for a set price. While standing in line for the bus, we met a nice, young couple and asked if they wanted to join us in the cab. They agreed and the four of us set off. The cab ride was only 35 minutes and we arrived before the 12 o'clock bus had even left the Stadium! We exchanged contact information with the couple and they took a picture of us before they went off on their own.
We were quite impressed with ZhuJiaJiao. The town is so
quaint and
serene with its
picturesque bridges, canals, gardens, etc. We read that it is better than ZhouZhuang. For one, there are fewer tourists. The entrance fees and prices of food and souvenirs are reasonable and the shop owners and vendors are not
aggressive and pushy. We strolled along the narrow lanes lined with small homes and shops. The people of ZhuJiaJiao have such a simple, leisurely life...we kinda envy them. The elderly folks can be found hanging out by the doorway watching people go by or playing majong. They would smile or stop to say hello to us and were as curious about us as we were about them.
Places that we visited included the Animal Releasing Bridge (Fang Sheng Qiao), Ke Zhi Garden (Ke Zhi Yuan), and a traditional Chinese medicine shop that is still in use. We took our time leisurely strolling around town. The further we walked away from the front entrance, the fewer tourists we encountered. Although we did see a few "laowai", for the most part, the town is not on the "beaten tourist path".
Our
spontaneous trip rewarded us with a
glimpse of a pleasant life beyond the
hustle and bustle in Shanghai. We plan to be back another day.
Will post some photos later...
Q-
Words in bold and their meanings based on this article:
1. abode = home
2. negotiated = bargain; two sides agree on price or terms
3. quaint = old and attractive; used mainly for things, not people
4. serene = calm; peaceful
5. picturesque = beautiful to look at
6. aggressive and pushy = forceful (example: not forcing people to buy)
7. spontaneous = without planning ahead
8. glimpse = a look
9. hustle and bustle = hurried or fast pace (of life)
* "beaten tourist path" = very popular place to visit; many tourists visit
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Many moons ago, I went to Taipei, Taiwan with the goal to learn Chinese. Not long after landing in the city of chou tofu (stinky tofu) and zhen zhu nai cha (pearl milk tea), I met my husband, forgot my goal, and the studying went downhill pretty fast. I played hooky, goofed off in class, didn't do my homework, came to class unprepared for the day's lessons...in short, I wasn't a very good student. I left two years later with very basic skills in the language. Sure, I could say enough to get myself kicked out of a taxi but beyond the "ni chi bao le ma", I wasn't very proficient.
Fast forward eight years later and I am in Shanghai. This time I am determined to really learn Chinese. So I decided to enroll in Jiao Tong Daxue (Jiao Da) and see what the fuss is all about. Ever since I've been in Shanghai, people have been asking if I heard of Jiao Da. So now I can say, "Why, yes, I am at Jiao Da learning Chinese!"
The first day of registration included meeting with these two ladies who assigned our section (there are about seven sections for Intermediate Level 1, which is what I am in). Before the lady had a chance to decide my fate, I told her I wanted all morning classes. She replied, "We usually reserve those for married women." To which I replied, "But I AM married." So then she said, "Do you want to be in class with Asians?" I thought I heard it wrong so she repeated the question. Did I just hear her right? Don't I look Asian, too? Am I not yellow to her? Why would I discriminate against my own kind? So I retorted, "I don't have a problem as long as my classes are in the morning!"
Looking back after having been in class for a month and a half, I now understand what that lady meant about being in class with "Asians". She was trying to save me but I refused the life jacket. For one thing, the Korean and Japanese students in my section are studious and smart. They come to class prepared. They even sit in on other section's classes to get extra doses of the same class! But you couldn't tell it by looking at them. They are quiet compared to the other students in other sections. They don't often raise their hands and ask questions. They don't often volunteer answers so you can't gauge how smart they are until you see them hand in their typed homework assignments and they get read out loud in front of class by the teachers. For another, they do not find it foreign to read and write characters. They even take notes in Chinese! Believe me, I tried this, too, except when I go to review my notes, I end up having to punch in my electronic dictionary what I wrote!
So what does this mean for me? The classes are kicking my butt! It's a challenge for me to keep up with the "Asian" students who are used to reading and writing characters. Not only that, the teachers lecture so fast and use about 0.1% English that I am left confused and frustrated. I wanted to raise my hand and say, "Teacher, you lost me after you said students, please turn to page 17! "
So I spend hours studying just to keep up and still I go to class only grasping 60-70% of the content. I wonder sometimes if I made the right choice to be in this class. Is it better to be mediocre in the "Asian" class or the top of an easy, mostly "laowai" class? No matter what, I just hope this will mean that my Chinese will be better. Next time someone asks me if I want to be in a class with "Asians", I won't be so quick to say I don't have a problem with that!